i found this, on nymd_forever. somehow, i didn't realise this earlier.
if you know, its from the farewell party last year. and the face you can see is sharon of course. and sharon is hugging two people. and its yea. i didn't know this moment was captured. it was such a teary and heart breaking one. for me more. that time, when we sang our 'love confession' like a choir and ran down to the seniors. and it was two to one. sharon,xinkai,ann. that was our 'three' then.
why. today i was like me! and mummy hugged. saying okay.. and we talked for a little while before she was distracted by the arrival of ms chan. i love my mummy. now, she comes back often. and that's why can hug. i really love my mummy. that photo brings back so much so much memories and all. makes me think of jolene too. jolene!<3.
such wonderful times. i miss it a lot. and its pure stardust left. and that day, i cried a lot a lot because of mummy mostly. and i remember our long long hug. yes memories. )= nostalgia
memoriesofyesterday<3.
foreverinmyheart
iwillneverforget
Angel Of Music ; 7:03 AM ;
i want to freeze this moment in time. and remember this moment for life.
GOLD WITH HONOURS.
i love nymd. i love the dancers. i have no regrets. a gold with honours our dreams have finally came true. really 7 months of hard work and 7 minutes on stage. ( and a few seconds more) i believe we all made it through. the blood, sweat and tears. we showed the world we are 'damn bloody good' as quoted in from joanne from mr raj.
i remember flashes of the dance, the seven minutes but i remember more of our journey. of the seven minutes i dont remember running out, i remember psyching myself to be angry and "kill" them all. next i remember was hitting every single stroke together with mam aka yunyi. i remember faintly running into the circle. i remember pushing my sword into the air and "chopping" it down so hard that it made a huge sound. i remember looking at the empty audience seats at the side or my eye to estimate position and i dont really remember our clash. i remember i landed a but sideways my body but i held there and forced myself not to move a single part of myself till it had to jump down. i dont remeber running out as fast as my legs could carry me though i know i did. i dont remeber walking out and doing the flash flash thing with our hands the twinkle star thing. but i remeber while falling to my knees, i willed msyelf to stay still despite i fell too hard and was going to fall over. and stayed there. i remeber hearing felicia's 'DOWN.' but not the 'GO'. and the next thing was running into the wings get our props and to get hilary's flag and walk out. and i held the flag too high and i am so sorry the light. i banged the light on the way out.
the next thing we knew was we're out int eh holding area and we started to YAY! we did it. and suddenly i felt exhausted of my energy i felt limp and didn't have proper energy to hug hug mam. then when the teachers, instructors and supporters came out. we started to cheer and all only to be hushed my the security guard that he was going to throw us out.and we did a low hurray! and boy i had no regrets when i stepped off the stage, first time ever. really. that feeling of totally NO REGRETS that we did our best.
thankyou list. ( its late)
to mam for fighting with me and eh stealing my imaginary boyfriend? to look fierce?all the way!
to lil' mam for being with maria
to hilary for talking out with me that day and being the 'hero' of the dance
to felicia the person who made me the props auntie and rushing out to get props
to patricia my fellow shield buddy who is my 翻身 pair
to bernice who is forever ber! and being iwth me during mornings
to pat and ber the pair same line as me and mam to be "fronting" ( so called)
to junning for improving
to estelle and junning for being the centre centre for war
to eileen and estelle for being such good leaders and leading us all the way
to enrui, the lovely egg for the stunts and everything from joy and fun throughout the journey
to chityin for endearing to the audience and judges
to vinette and huzhe for being the nice enemies who die after being poked by hilary
to aileen ( i have mixed feelings really) for issuing war for enemies
to yihong the blur blur person who issue war and being crazily mad all the time
to jac for being fierce and trying to be harder
to siyu for being so strong after being injured
to shirley who endured the pain to do the syf with an injured knee
to marianne for lasting throughout the last minute and doing so well and fierce.
to jody my fellow ahma ( dont ask me why)
to sylvia the auntie for being such good examples for the enemy shields to learn from
to cheryl for motivating me when i was down and being with me
for mr raj for having this concept and reminding us and telling us what we needed to hear and encouraging us and motivating us to do no only well but very well.
for mr gordon who didn't ever give up on us though we were naughty and undisciplined sometimes and being caring about all of us injured or not and treating us like his "babies". for cleaning up our dance and doing so much choreography and spending time to clear up certain small sections. for almost having your heart jump out watching our dance over and over again.
to ms chan for motivating us and telling us what the dance needed from another point of view and for giving me a hug( though i had props all over) before the competition and being concerned about my injury while doing my makeup.
thankyou instructors and ms yeo for caring about my injury
to ms yeo for being there for us. i know that some dancers aren't happy with stuff but i think it is greatly because she cares a lot and really feel sorry that we have to go through so much stress. and its true. for scolding us and "protecting" us to prevent unwanted comments to encourage us. and for being with us backstage all the way. ( for jumping with yunyi!) and for really bothering to care about my injury and to understand what i was trying to say without crying due to the pain.
to ms goh, though not a really like wow huge role but giving us feedback at camp and also being with us and cheering and for us. and being so patient with the 32 of us with high inertia and dont want to move to the bus till i realised and hit me she was trying to get us moving to the bus because i heard but i didn't process. (till the extent she said she wanted to take a spear and poke us to get us up the bus, but obviously we heard and said, eh take the weapons away!)
for mrs teo for supporting nymd.
for mrs sandy tan for supporting
for mrs tieh who came to support
for vice principal mrs chek for supporting and encouraging us.
then results, all of us werei n dance studio waiting for results . everyone was so anxious. even ms goh was there with us. and it was like ten and no results yet. then suddenly eileen and estelle both received an sms and estelle went "you all are going to be so happy, we got what we wanted!" and everyone started cheering and suddenly we all started crying. then aileen asked it it true? and they went ' yes, GOLD WITH HONOURS". and everyone started to cry. me and sober enrui started to have tears welling up and eye began to become red. and in the end the both of us cried too. marianne was crying so badly "gold with honours", she was sobbing. and then we all hug hug hug. then ms goh came and said, "my dear girls, you all have your gold with honours, why are you all crying? let us cheer for ourselves!" and this time, felicvia lead teh cheer and we were all cheering while tearing.
and felicia said "what are we waiting for? lets tell the school!" and they ran to the quadrangle, canteen screaming like mad chickens "gwh" and the rest of us dry our tears and try to go back to class and me ber pat yunyi hilary and the rest went out and halfway me adn ber decided not to go canteen but turn back to class and realised we were like face to ms goh and nicely she smiled seeing our teary eyes and all and we went back to class.
and ms yeo told us what happened when she went to get results and wow. she cried too. and told us mr raj was asked to go up to share and all those stuff and she said she was gave us each a hug. and she said its really a golden gold with honours. (= and its true.
well, I LOVE YOU NYMD-ERS! for making this happen, we're all in this together and we really did it. because, we will be perfect dancers ( think daughters) HEH. ((: let us rise to greater heights.
i will miss everything. i am starting to miss it. its not as fast as hatfull because this one i did it with no regrets giving my life to fight for what we aimed for. and the journey will be etched in my mind. it will never be the same. seniors will be gone soon. we will be senior of the seniors soon. enrui would be gone. i will miss the times we whine together or fight together as ONE NYMD. i love you all!
nymd forever.
<3
Angel Of Music ; 5:53 AM ;
i dont know what colour i last used.
but i know its been long since i was here.
i read a lot of ppl's posts and i am dying with tests studying and everything. and nice ms lee allowed me to take on thurs and saved by the rest of the md-ers she teaches, that they nicely agreed to sit with me during the test so i no need to sit beside ms lee to do the test ><
but i want to blog. everything from gordon calling us his "babies" and the comparison about ms yeo and mr raj and all that. to what i feel now. about nymd. watching hatfull brings back the fire and passion it felt so gone. and now its all coming back to me.
let us modern dancers, NYMD , the 32 of us. stomp the stage and impress everyone there. to do it. whether or not what the judges think. we are performers and not mere dancers, and we shall do our best! and we will be winners ourselves, whatever gold silver pink yellow green as eileen said, i dont care too. but its a lie. but i shall not be burdened by it. and we shall do it for ourselves , do justice to mr gordon's choreography. the teachers efforts, mr raj. mr gordon, ms yeo. ms chan and even ms jackie who's doing our make up on monday.
NYMD-ers i love you all. i really do. i really believe in this item.
for now it shall be BIO, chem and IH.
nnanyang modern dancers! I LOVE YOU! and
Sec1s05 and enrui you too! I LOVE YOU ALL TOO!
<3333333333
two.
Angel Of Music ; 8:04 AM ;
hello.
i know its kind of late blogging about obs. had thoery exam.. and still busy. i guess coming abck to civilisation and reality was back to rush life again.
obs. admunsen <3. i guess though it was largely and love -hate affair to me i actually learnt and lot and i miss the times there somehow. thankyou to everyBODY. the way instructor kenny says it. i think one of the worse points was that i was superly seasick when kayaking that my head was totally throbbing and couldn't think straight and all i wanted was to get out of it alive.
we've all been fun people. and singing before going to sleep during the last day. how interesting and in the end instructor kenny came and said so happy sing sing sing ah! and i think without him we couldn't have survived and without being together we wouldn't have survived all those crazy moments while trekking or the wet wet night we had to sleep through nor the ants attacks which we amazingly keep having. and instructor kenny who treats us like his 'children' and reckons that we are all his princesses and saying ' my princesses, please go to sleep!' on the last day.
without the whole group i also wouldn't have survived. like sleeping next to chinsian the strong. and stephanie , i am so grateful if not i would have died during kayaking, yunting the civilised bear whom my fellow store i/c whom washed the ants infested ponchos with me before the others came to help. tenille the loud. jiayu the pro at rock climbing! lili the funny person. jocelyn and cherie the food i/c. everyone! just too many things to list. and also buddy watch tenzing. sitong's em superly short fbts and long shirt. make her look sexy. and also bonding with my fellow 302-ers.
i guess i have survived and lots of lessons learnt. and also the quotes and stories told to us. and i associate with the yesterday,today,tommorrow thing the most and i agree we must hold hands still. not physically though!
and saturday theory amazingly it was okay met cassandra and hernie there. and was quite surprised and in same room as cass some more. and finish same time.
btw happy birthday connie. love. i know our present it still with me. <3.
dance camp on thurs. homework are lots. and tmr sch. work hard! and prove ourselves. go batch 08'
admunsen<3
ha , jocelyn , cherie , jiawen , lili , stephanie , ann , yunting , tenille , chongrong , gail , claire , jiayu , chinsian , xinyu. the nanyanggirls' admunsen.
Angel Of Music ; 12:44 AM ;
my dearest 209! OH I MISS YOU ALL.
time passes fast. term1's almost over.
i think i have learnt a lots of lessons. thankyou seniors for scolding me. and jiayou batch08'. after all these i will work hard. i will try harder. though i know i am one of the slower ones. thankyou to everyone who helped with the board.
obs next week. i am scared somehow. garh. 5whole days.
2 camps in 2 weeks.
actually i watch the 5.30 sow double hapiness but end up everyday stay back in the end i watch central affairs2 which is quite nice. heh.
nice 302 bullied zhuolaoshi a bit about her sister yesteray. heehee. and we were slacking in bio cos everywhere was full and we walked the whole school and then back to the lab and talked to ms lee and ha, steffi and i were talking about whether she was married and the signs we see. and how pretty she is. hah. we are really interested anyone who finds out pls tell us! heh. (:
went back there last wk to bai3 nian2. and i am still mulling over it. cos it feels so warm and nice. and i never did imagine it would be like that. oh i miss that place. and i told connie about it and i think she don't understand what craziness i am experiencing. aunty amy! <3.>
Angel Of Music ; 9:25 PM ;
just a moment ago math test was over, now all the tests i've taken so far are all back...
they aren't too bad. but could have done better... and my class is super pro and clever i should say. already chem and math have full marks! and maybe ha even has full marks for physics? dont know ..
can't go back mbs tmr. i am feeling sad about it. because i haven't heard from mrschan for so long and then! i can't go back. no choice.. i rather not risk my life. and soldier on.
i know all of us are feeling like sad over what mr r did today to mr g's blocking and all that. i was quite shocked just by looking. and i realised after lil' mam told me. we've wasted our whole saturday. that saturday in the quadrangle to block and do formation and almost half under the sun. with mr g. and yet... i dont get it why. but its done? i really dont know anymore. the piece's changing a lot. and mr r changed the front part too. and its like i think ripping of mr g's stuff. sigh.
after hearing the music for fearlessly feminine again after formal CCA today. and the seniors dancing. i feel so wave of nostalgia? like when i was just a sec1. i used to stand there and watch the seniors. and just watch and be so mesmerised. and how good they were and just watching them train and train for that piece. i felt so nymd. and i was and am proud to be a modern dance. our batch think also feels the same way. and at least me and hilary i guess would tell people proudly. i am from moderndance even when i was just a new junior then. i remembered when we first met mr r we were intimidated, scared but yet motivated by that to try. and i believe we tried we raised our own bar. and we did it. our own batch. nymd sec1s05' i think even end of sec1 i was already so comfortable with the whole nymd. because of production i guess. and now? i dont think the juniors would like tell the whole world i am from modern dance. much more after their scolding today.
i miss the first two years. a lot a lot. with jolene regina liuqian and everyone around. i know my batch was considered very dao and all that to seniors but look at us now. we have moved so far. the journey we had. the batch-ness feeling. the we are one feeling. and we cried together when we got scolded by mr r esp. during production period then. and the drilling into us becoming early sec2 seniors that we would be fronting the next syf. and how could we do that when we were like that. the questions motivating us to work harder. and be up there. and now here we were doing the next syf. and to train hard and get it back. everything. the old feeling. its not there anymore. i dont feel it like WHOLE nymd. only my batch mostly cos maybe i am too busy. but i feel different. and plus syf its like everyone's concentrating on syf and sometimes become too cold to each other.. oh well. its part of life.
i better write letters soon! and study theory and ih. revise math and physics. and my chem iwant to do well! not only bio, chem, physics, but also math and chinese! having zhuolaoshi, makes me feel i want to do well. ih.. lacking in motivation but i should not let ms koh down!
i just pray for you to look over me
Angel Of Music ; 5:56 AM ;
i miss the old times. but i shall not think too much.
i am surprised mam wrote my letter. and actually we are partnering and i am happy cos my partner is non other than mam. and i am glad for hilary who is... go hilary! i am scared about next thurs. i am missing dance due to cip. and its also not confirmed yet. and thurs is mr raj already. and he's doing - ahhhh! oh dear. i want to do that part!
you know what! i dont have enough time to feel sad. but i want to say thankyou to jolene. because though she's busy my wonderful wonderful jolene talked to me the next day and i have the same chem and chi teachers as she had last time. and she HEARD of my physics teacher. heh. (: and for now. i shall talk to jolene. because sharon hurts me i don't know why. as in the time she came back. i got hurt even more like unintentionally cos it wasn't her fault it was just what i was going through then. i'm sorry sharon. but somehow it just hurts me alright. i guess its the first time i'm saying it. but again its subjective! so we shall all look on the bright side of life and be happy! so kudos to jolene anyway. i miss her so much.
tuition is not the same tuition anymore. i dont feel as happy as like hyper and fun at tuition. maybe its cos its not ms tay . after being one year under her maybe it feels not the same. but i guess for me its the environment. oh well. i think. and you know what. i just shut up lots of times. and you know even when i shut up i feel like asking the person causing disruption to stop it. but i know i am bad. cos it is group tuition anyway! so in the end i just study more and listen more. and try to get it right. science is still after all a big part of my dream, ambition.
302. i'm getting used to it. sitong, jean, jessie weijia,cassandra, adeline, eva... everyone! we are a happy lively class. oh yea. for once i feel like happy in class and not like transition state. and i love bio! that crazy girl, stephanie knows. aha. we talk about the most absurd stuff and - censored. only to the both of us! i think jo's feeling a bit sad. go jojo! dont be sad. 302 is a happy place and we can be sad but not too sad. go jo!
let me get through this dark scary period. and i love my fellow buddies. and connie ong. i miss the times when we go crazy. now we only talk about like twong and wong and work related stuff and some 303, 302 stuff... i miss crazy connie.
and yea thankyou kerri for listening to my angst stuff like last week. i was rambling ON and ON and ON. and she listened. loves to kerri! (= shanghai buddy!
its all about us
Angel Of Music ; 5:30 AM ;